#454 Master your voice, improve your communication, and unlock your charisma, with voice coach Guy Monroe.

What if mastering your voice could unlock newfound social confidence and charisma, transforming your public speaking and personal interactions?

In this episode, Guy Monroe, the Charisma Coach, dives deep into the art of vocal mastery and charisma. Many of us struggle with stage fright and social anxiety, often feeling misunderstood or overlooked. Guy's methods offer a path to overcoming these challenges, promising a significant improvement in how we communicate and connect with others.

Discover how to:

• Harness the power of vowels to enhance vocal resonance and clarity.
• Develop composure and confidence in high-stakes social situations.
• Utilise positive thinking techniques to transform anxiety into self-assuredness.

Tune into this episode to learn actionable strategies from Guy Monroe that will revolutionise your speaking skills and elevate your social interactions. 

Listen now and start your journey towards becoming a more charismatic and confident communicator!

˚

𝗞𝗘𝗬 𝗣𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗠𝗣𝗦

04:24 - Fascination With Voice in Communication 

10:51 - Pitch and Vowels in Singing 

17:56 - Technique for Voice Resonance 

19:16 - Mastering Vocal Beauty and Beast

25:09 - Effective Communication in Conversations 

32:18 - Navigating Social Settings and Self-Doubt

40:01 - Navigating Personal Growth and Fulfillment

˚

𝗠𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗔𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗤𝗨𝗢𝗧𝗘

"Find the thing that feeds your soul, that nourishes your soul, and you'll be a very happy person."

˚

𝗩𝗔𝗟𝗨𝗔𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗖𝗘

https://www.guymonroe.com/

˚

Want to be a guest on Personal Development Mastery?

Send Agi Keramidas a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/personaldevelopmentmastery

˚

Transcript

Agi Keramidas: 0:35

In this episode, 454, you will discover actionable strategies that will enhance your speaking skills and help you become a more charismatic and confident communicator. Welcome to personal development mastery, the podcast that equips you with simple and consistent actions that will help you create a life of purpose and fulfillment. I'm your host, Agi Keramidas. By the end of this episode, you're going to learn how to harness the power of vowels to enhance vocal clarity, how to develop composure and confidence in high stakes social situations, and you will also discover the beauty and the beast of our voice and how to use them both effectively before we dive in. Remember mastery. Seekers. If you want to go deeper into the episode, join us at the free community mastery seekers tribe. Today, it is my real pleasure to speak with Guy Monroe, guy, you are also known as the charisma coach, and you have over two decades of experience, teaching countless individuals in mastering the art of singing, public speaking and social confidence. Your unique methods have prepared participants for high stakes stages like TEDx and competitions like X Factor. You are passionate about transforming people's state's fright and social anxiety into confidence and grace under pressure. Guy, I'm delighted to have you here with me today.

Guy Monroe: 2:26

Such a pleasure. It is such a pleasure to be with you. Always a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

Agi Keramidas: 2:32

It's also, yes, my pleasure having experienced your energy in and your your teaching style in a call that we had a few weeks ago. I thought this is going to be an insightful conversation for many ways, everyone, and today I'm planning to dive into the world of charisma and voice mastery with you. Before we go there, I would like to get a little bit of background. How did you first become interested in the study of charisma and the voice?

Guy Monroe: 3:16

Well, it started when I was very young, that's a great question. And for my own personal expression, I I wanted to be recognized. I desired to be seen as young men. Desire to, you know, to stand out, to be recognized, to be seen as a skilled person. And so I pursued singing and acting as a young man in junior high school and then high school, and then college, and I won the trophies, and I won the awards, and I did very, very well. There are things I would do differently, of course, hindsight 2020 I would tell him things that would really have given him the confidence that I that I have now, I would have given him that as a young man, and gave him a real clear idea of how to pursue an a deeper understanding of personal, his personal expression, and what He desires to do with it, and how to make it fulfilling and rewarding for him, which just evolved over time for myself, when I decided to pursue, at some point, becoming a coach and finding out how absolutely rewarding that was and how much I love it. And so now I can do that for others. I can basically save them time. Eventually, we will, if we stick with anything long enough, we're all going to get there, but a good coach can help you get there quicker. Can just save you time, because they've done all the experimentation that you're going to have to do to find out what works, what doesn't work, and what's effective, what is ineffective, what gets in the way, and so on. So you can just save time, and you can get there much quicker and have a lot less frustration than perhaps the coach did, learning what they what they know. So

Agi Keramidas: 5:28

that's great. And there are now that you said, or that there are two, let's say. A big points of view that I would like to see this conversation today, having, knowing that having a cross me a voice expert, and I see it like two different let's say components. Let's say someone is speaking on stage or about to speak. I see that the technical component, which actually the voice is going to, I'm going to ask you in a minute, but also there is the emotional or the mental component, what's going on inside the head while or before the speech. So we'll, I want to ask you some things about that as well, because it is, I believe that is really where the fulfillment of your work comes when you see someone transform, because it means they have changed something internally in order to do that. Shall we speak about the voice then first, and you know, it's such a fascinating topic. We use it all the time. Many of us take it for granted, which as other things, I have a few specific questions. But if you want to preface that with anything else, feel free to do so. But one of the things that I remember vividly from our conversation was the difference between vowels and consonants and how important one is compared to the other. And most many of us do not pay attention to it. So that is one question out of the ones that I had. But as I said, if you want to preface it with something else, be my guest, sure.

Guy Monroe: 7:22

Okay, so one of the great hardships for most people is not everyone, but most people, is that their knowledge of the human voice is almost zero, and because the human voice is a musical instrument that is played like a guitar, like a piano, like a violin, so you the more familiar, and the deeper the understanding you have of your voice, you really begin to realize that you can shape it to sound any way you want it to sound, hopefully, very attractive, and it's very inspiring to you whenever you speak or whenever you sing. So if it's an instrument that can be played very well, it's also an instrument that can be played very poorly. And the information that we are given in public school, unfortunately, is filled with absolute, complete ignorance, and we'll send you in the wrong direction. English teachers are not taught about vocal law, so the way they teach English is a very strange thing. For example, they will there are a number of crucial consonants that we have to learn in how to pronounce them. However, the relationship between between consonants and vowels is not what people think. It is consonant and consonants and vowels are not to be served with equal weight. A consonant is merely a vocal condiment. A consonant is anything, any sound that we make that does not cause the vocal cords to vibrate. Therefore, some of the ignorance that we're taught in school about what consonants are fly in the face of that many consonants that are referred to as consonants are actually vowels, and that creates confusion. So we have to look at voice from the standpoint of we the absolute basics. We have to look for vocal laws. We have to look for first principle in voice to understand it. So the voice is very a very simple thing from understanding very basic rules. That is, we have two elements, vowels and consonant. The vowel in Latin is Vox, which means voice, so anything around human expression is all about the vowel, slash, syllable. The consonant is a vocal condiment, the very definition tells us what it is, con. It's like, if we were in a certain country and we wanted sparkling water, we would say con, gas with gas with sparkling right, with sparkles. Consonant literally means with. With the son and or with the voice, the consonant is just a flavoring, a seasoning. It's nothing to be emphasized. You should never attempt to voice it. You should use it as sparingly and quickly as humanly possible when you pronounce it, because consonants, by definition, are merely plosives. Example, what is a plosive? It is a repression of air with a puff of air released. Example, B is C, is D, is F, is G, is good. So they're not valuable in communication. They are valuable in creating a flavoring for the vowel that makes us understand different words. So they are to be downplayed. They are to be used as briefly as possible. And vowels need to be employed because vowels are the vehicle of sound. Vowels are the beauty in the human voice. Vowels allow pitch and vocal resonance to occur only on the vowels, not on the consonants. So just because a vowel is present in a phrase that I say, it doesn't mean that I may be exploiting the beauty of it, right? And this can lead to all sorts of problems vocally, whereby you may think you don't have what it takes to sing, because in order to sing, the only singable elements that we can attach a pitch to is a vowel. So when we hear a pitch and you have to sing the word, when if you're sliding up to a high note, and you're trying to hit that high note, and what did your English teacher tell you that the WH is a valuable thing. So you're going to try and sing the WH. When, in effect, the only valuable thing in the word when is the a sound, E, h, h, h, h, which is so when you slide up for your high pitch on the downbeat must occur, or the the timing moment, the E, h, h h h, As in 10 pan, when must happen? When? When? When, when, not the WH, when, when, so before that moment, just before we go, whoo and we go. And that's true for every single syllable, which is the same definition as a vowel, a syllable is a vowel and a consonant is a plosive so then that leads with that ignorance. We can stutter. We can experience spasmodic dysphonia like Bobby Kennedy, oh, a sudden you're talking like this, but there's nothing wrong with your voice. You're playing the instrument incorrectly. So I have to train people to introduce them to vowels and pitch and voicing, and all of a sudden, their voice starts to surface. And then we're on the road back to having our voice once again, we must break the habits, whatever habits we've developed to either cause the stutter, the dysphonia, the singing flat, and replace that with the beauty in the human voice by understanding the vowels are the vehicle of sound,

Agi Keramidas: 14:30

this is a great explanation. Thank you. And you said you were saying about the consonants the to use them sparingly and to use the word downplay also. What can you give us an example like to illustrate how it is, you know, to use the consonants sparingly or to use them excessively, so one can understand maybe what what it sounds like.

Guy Monroe: 14:59

Yeah, sure. So when you talk about people who do voice over, they have a absolute, intimate understanding of the power of vowels and resonati or echo, which is created in the skull or the face. So instead of speaking into the room, we send the sound up into our face. Because if I send the sound into the room, it may sound like that. This in a world where dinosaurs ruled the planet, if I send it into the skull, hmm. Um, exploiting the vowels in a world where dinosaurs ruled the planet, those are vowel sounds, ih, er, air, I or Ooh, uh, in a world where dinosaurs ruled the planet. So that is beauty that is generated on the vowels with a keen awareness of what the vowel sounds are. So we have speaking and resonance created, which is amplification created in the skull, which is vocal character, and that's intentionally created by running to each vowel sound in the phrase. We glue our words together and we exploit the vowel sound within the phrase. Most people don't know what the vowel sounds are in the phrase, and they will assume that they're using them when they're not for example, the word theirs, if you look at the way it's structured, although there's a vowel sound within it, air, as in care fair, stare the word there people are taught to emphasize the th, which will take you, which is In the mouth, which will take it to the are there, there, there, there. That is why, all across the world, people mispronounce the word is. They pronounce it es east, so ih is a solar plexus sound in the middle of your body, ih, duration on IH, as in Kiss. Miss this, which many people pronounce keys, mes, these. It's not their fault. They just were never taught what the sound or trained with the vowel sounds are. And there are, there are 22 crucial vowel sounds in American English, not just a, e, i, o, but weird ones, like, Why, oh, use it's. There's no why in the spelling, but there's definitely a why there, phonetically, or the word fuse, it's F, U, S, C, but notice there's a Y in there. Fuse, as in use there's a Y in there. Interesting. So when you have that awareness, all sudden, your ear gets tuned for something very interesting, and that is, you start paying attention. What is the vowel sound, and if I create that sound, will I be more understood? Will I be more attractive? Absolutely, you will.

Agi Keramidas: 18:28

That is a very I like the very much, the explanation, thank you. Regarding bringing you, said, bringing the voice to the sinus and using the skull, I think that's how you say. Is there any technique one can use to do that, to move that? How? How would you, how do you teach people to do that?

Guy Monroe: 18:52

Sure. So we call the technique of voicing, grab it, crush it and buzz it. Grab it is how we inhale very quickly through the mouth, for public speaking, for singing, always through the mouth the nose is for only for Italian restaurants and yoga class, because it will take you an hour and a half to fill your lungs every time you breathe. So even though well meaning instructors say always breathe through your nose, have they tried it in a public forum? Have they tried singing a song exclusively breathing through their nose? You'll find it's impossible. So we breathe through the mouth with a quick reload, sip, gasping format, which is diaphragmatically and inter causatively engaged. Now we have it inside the body. We keep it in the body, which is called Crush It, or put it under pressure. And now we buzz it, we direct the sound into the sinus, and this creates what is called the beast, or vocal character. There is beauty, and the Beast beauty is the pitch which occurs on the vowel. Beast is the buzz, or resonati that occurs on the vowel. For example, we hear it all the time, but we don't know it. For example, Johnny Cash, as a singer, he would not sound like Johnny Cash if he spoke on the exhale. I keep a close watch on this heart of mine, because you're mine. I walk the line. You hear a breathy. That is the wind that's leaving my body. Now, if I, if I grab it, crush it and buzz it, and I trap the sound in my the Cathedral of my skull. I keep a close watch on this heart of mine, because you're mine. I walk the line just like the Buddhist monk chance. Um, so too Johnny Cash, um, love is a burning thing, hmm, and it makes a fiery ring. I fell for you like a child. Oh, but the fire went wild. Mmm, it's a buzzy kind of little bit ugly, truthful, passionate sound. Mmm, and that sound of passion or truth is called the beast, and it is the one thing that satisfies singers when they sing, is to have the beast present. And if I was to prepare you for the voice or X Factor, we would have to make sure that the beast and beauty are present 100% of the time before you compete with your song, because you're going to be competing against people whose Beauty and Beast is present 100% of the time, because it's it is expected, it is anticipated. You know, it's kind of like a gourmet meal. You may not know what the chef did to make that fabulous tasting plate, but you certainly can taste all the details and subtleties that he or she has provided you so magnificently. So too, with the singer, they Wow. You sound very passionate. You sound very truthful, and You sound very beautiful at the same time, the melody is always present, and they go. Thank you very much. I worked really hard to make sure that that happens every time I sing this song, you know. And they do. It's not luck, it's a skill. Very exciting, very exciting.

Agi Keramidas: 22:51

Thank you for this analogy about with the safe I think it is a very it makes it very easy to for someone to understand it. Guy, what are some common challenges that people who want to master their voice encounter?

Guy Monroe: 23:07

The first thing always will be the start with the basics. You have to understand that the vowel is your friend and the consonant is not. Do not attempt to voice the consonant only run to the vowel because the vowel is mechanically open and free. And when you attach a pitch to a vowel, that pitch purely occurs the moment you hit that vowel. So go from vowel to vowel to vowel when you speak, glue your words together. If your voice is misbehaving, stop separating your words. Get in the habit of gluing your words together. We call this phrasing. So you'll notice that when I'm speaking, I tend not to put speech spaces between my words. I tend to glue everything together. So whether you're reading poetry or you're trying to express yourself, notice it's a breath and then under pressure and continuous voicing, until a reload of breath. Under Pressure, continue voicing. Reload a breath, continue voicing. And so on, and you'll experience a lot of success. Do not pull on your voice to try and make it lower. Do not try and raise your voice to make it sound higher. Don't do these things. You can change the characteristic of your voice or color like you'll notice that my I'm much older than I sound. My voice is a very optimistic late 20s, early 30 year old, and I shave everything on my head, otherwise you'd see a lot of gray hair. So but I do sound very youthful, and that's because that's by design, because it's friendly and appealing. Also use informality in when you speak English. Use American informality for that is the language of friends and lovers, hi, as opposed to Hello. How's it going? As opposed to, how are you doing? So the informal is the language of friends and lovers, where we're relaxed and we're not worried about what the other person thinks. We tend to come from the heart 10. Tend come from the heart, as opposed to tend to come from the heart. Everything perfect, everything enunciated, we it is a, it is a vowel centric form of speech. Hi. How are you? How's it going? How you doing? You know, it's very warm and friendly and inviting. I highly invite you explore that if you don't use it and you want to make friends, and you want to do podcasts and you want to speak online, unless you're unless the group that you speak to are Ivy League elitist intellectuals. Then, of course, you can speak like a complete robot and say, I am perfect. You are not, but I am a perfect human being. Don't question my reasoning or my formality, because I'm superior in every way. You'll get much further in life. Hi, how's it going? How you doing? How are you?

Agi Keramidas: 26:46

What is so fascinating about this, apart from the way that you shared it, is that one may be completely unknowingly been using the this way of speaking to others, because that's what they learned as a kid or whatever, and they never evaluated. And as a result, their interactions or the outcomes of their conversation may not be the way that they would want, and they might be wondering, but I'm saying all the right words, but now this, this gives a very different element of, you know, thinking about one's voice and how they speak.

Guy Monroe: 27:34

That's a brilliant insight that you brought up, and the word that comes to mind when you bring up this subject, which is crucial, it is your well being in social settings should be the first thing not to impress other people, but your social well being for Is it public speaking that we want to talk about, or is it actually a more perfect word? Would be composure, composure during social in social settings, because they're high stakes, so these settings which lend themselves towards anxiety if we're not careful so, and that's because we're judged, we're evaluated. You're you're going to be liked, disliked. If it goes well, great, but what if it goes wrong, you'll be embarrassed. So composure is the ability to know how to tend to yourself and therefore, really how to tend to your audience, the people whose hearts you want to open. Composure is critical, and that is, how do I nurture myself? How do I support myself without getting defensive? How do I inspire myself to go deeper into the storytelling, to go deeper into the information, to share something relevant and powerful with those who are listening, you know, and to not second guess ourselves, and to be on our side. And there are many techniques. It is absolutely a skill.

Agi Keramidas: 29:14

Uh, guy, this is such a wonderful conversation. Perhaps we can do a part two at some point. But in the meantime, where do you want to direct the listener, our mastery seeker, who has found this fascinating and wants to dive more into the voice, mastery of the voice,

Guy Monroe: 29:37

I highly recommend and invite you to come to my website. Guy monroe.com, G, u, y, M, O, N, R, o, e.com and click on the links on your area of interest. What would you like to Improve Singing, the voice composure? Would you like to learn more of how what the causes of stuttering is and how to overcome it, or spasmodic dysphonia and how to overcome that? And I would love to help you. And there's, there are tools right there for you to help you out. Thank you. And

Agi Keramidas: 30:22

guy, before I wrap up, I have two quick questions I always ask. And the first one is, what does personal development mean to you?

Guy Monroe: 30:34

Wow. Oh, well, I would say that it is a it's a metaphysical quest. You could look at it as a spiritual pursuit, or a metaphysical pursuit, that is we, if you would like, to have a life of great meaning. So at the end of your days, we never know when the end of our day will will be where we will leave this planet. You'll be at peace when it's time to go. Personal development is the asking yourself, How can I be a better person? What can how can I be more generous? How can I be more out, giving more more considerate? How can I help someone who's suffering more than I am and I cannot, I cannot express enough that what you do to bring hope to other people, regardless of the vehicle, is the greatest thing that you can do. It's not about what we think power is, it's what real power really is, and that is to bring hope to another, to alleviate another person's suffering. For real, what can I do that is a great a great place to come from, to have a life that's so rewarding for you, and I wish that for everyone.

Agi Keramidas: 32:22

Thank you. And a quick hypothetical question, if you could go back in time and meet your 18 year old self, what's one piece of advice you would give him?

Guy Monroe: 32:34

Man, I would tell him, be kind to yourself, stop pushing and shoving. There is no hurry. It's the quality of your moments that matter. Look for help. Seek out mentors with good hearts who are incredibly wise. Seek them out. Be willing to show your ignorance that you don't know, and ask for help from those who do in the world, and I promise you, they will help you. They will help you, the ones that are worth your time and trouble. Oh, they will absolutely help you, because they're made of that. And keep growing. Keep questioning your beliefs, challenge what you hold is true. Know the difference between a faith based belief, there's no problem with that, and a vetted or verified belief. Have two baskets so that you can think for yourself, and no one will try and be able to turn you into a slave, if you can vet information, if you can determine whether it's true or not, and when you hit that point where you say, I don't know, ask another question. Let that be fine, I don't know. Good, good first answer. Now dig a little deeper, and if you were going to guess, you don't have to know what the perfect answer is. But if you're going to take a guess, what would you guess it would be and move forward in that inquiry, like lifestyle and you will find more. You'll discover information that will bring you so much peace and calm you down so you can focus on what you love to do and stop chasing what you think you should love, but Chase what you do love, what brings you fulfillment instead things that you would do for free. And then you will learn how to generate income later, but the first step, find something that fills your soul in the doing of it, then you will discover how to pay your bills with it. But first find the thing that feeds your soul, that nourishes your soul, and you'll be a happy a very happy person.

Agi Keramidas: 35:12

This is actually very so great advice, because most people do it the other way around. Guy, I want to thank you so much for this conversation, for this time we had together. This was wonderful and captivating, really. I want to wish you all the very best with keeping on transforming people with what. You do, I will leave it to you for your part in wisdom.

Guy Monroe: 35:41

Thank you. So live a life of service. That means I'm not talking about mopping a floor. I'm talking about to serve is to be a generous human being. Be generous, be kind, get involved in anything that you love so much that you would do it for free, and strive not to complain or follow the crowd, but rather ask good questions, what would it take to solve this? What is needed, what is missing, what is required, what don't I know that if I did know would solve this problem, and you'd be surprised at the reply you'll hear even in your own mind, that will amaze you and help you so Blessings to you. Have a good life, have a good family, have children love the babies. Build a life that makes the world safe for children and babies to be in, be helpful and kind and respectful and love and life will be good to you.

Agi Keramidas: 37:04

And before I leave you for now, I have one last question for you. Do you seek to master your life and live with purpose and fulfillment? I'm sure that by now you have realized that personal development is a lifelong journey, and it's great to be able to share this journey with like minded people to support and to be supported. Join our free community, the mastery seekers tribe, and be a part of a growing group of people who value personal development, like you go to mastery seeker.com Until next time. Stand out don't fit in!