#534 Stop Pretending to Be Committed and Discover Where True Success Comes From, with David Wood.

Are you chasing success but still feeling unfulfilled? What if the key to real progress isn’t doing more, but finally getting radically honest with yourself?

In today’s world of hustle culture and high-performance pressure, many achievers find themselves stuck: busy, successful on paper, yet disconnected from purpose and meaning. In this episode, David Wood shares the transformational truth about why we pretend we want things and how facing that pretense is the first step toward genuine alignment, productivity, and joy.

• Discover how to tell the difference between what you say you want and what you're actually committed to.
• Learn the subtle yet powerful shift from external success to internal alignment—and why it matters more than ever.
• Gain clarity on what “playing full out” really looks like and how to start today, even if you've been stuck for years.

Tune in now to uncover the surprising mindset shift that could transform your goals, your productivity, and your sense of fulfillment.

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KEY POINTS AND TIMESTAMPS:

02:42 - David's Evolution Since 2021

08:52 - The Power of Stopping Pretending

16:47 - Understanding True Commitment

24:33 - Finding Happiness and Meaning

28:22 - Coaching Offers and Resources

30:46 - Closing Thoughts

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VALUABLE RESOURCES:

Take David's quiz: https://focus.ceo/#assess

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Explore coaching with Agi: https://personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com/mentor

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🎙️ Want to be a guest?

Message Agi on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/member/personaldevelopmentmastery

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Personal development interviews exploring key principles of personal development, self improvement, self mastery, personal growth, self-discipline, and personal improvement — all supporting a life of purpose and fulfilment.

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Transcript

Agi Keramidas: 0:00

Stop pretending to be committed and discover where true success comes from and how to achieve real results. Welcome to personal development mastery, the podcast that helps intelligent, busy professionals gain clarity and take aligned action so you can thrive in a purposeful, fulfilling life. I'm your host, Agi Keramidas. Join us every Monday for an insightful conversation with a guest, and it's Thursday for a shorter episode where I reflect and share with you if you are looking to cut through distraction and align your actions with what truly matters. This conversation explores how radical honesty and commitment can unlock deeper fulfilment and productivity. By listening today, you are going to discover how to tell the difference between what you say you want and what you're actually committed to, and you will learn the subtle yet powerful shift from external success to internal alignment. If you are successful on the outside but feel something is missing on the inside, then this episode is for you before we dive in, if you are in a life or career transition and resonate with the topics we discuss, I offer one to one coaching and mentoring to help you find clarity and move forward with purpose and confidence. Are you curious to explore what that could look like for you? Visit personal development mastery podcast.com/mentor, or just tap the link in the show notes. Now, let's get started. Today. I'm excited to welcome back to the podcast. David Wood, David, you are a former fortune 100 consultant who turned high performance coach and adventurer. You built one of the world's largest coaching businesses, and now you help high achieving individuals cut through distraction, get radically honest and create extraordinary lives by getting focused on what truly matters. David, it's a pleasure to have you back on the show, and especially, I will say that just for you know a bit of reference, our previous episodes was about 400 episodes ago, so it's great to have you back. Wow,

David Wood: 2:42

you've been busy.

Agi Keramidas: 2:47

Time went by four years. We spoke in 2021 so four years have gone by. I'm sure you have been busy as well. And actually, let's use that to begin the conversation. So you have built in your careers multiple versions of success these last four years, since 2021 when we spoke, is there any or has there been any personal turning point that reshaped how you see success? Now,

David Wood: 3:20

how I see success? Wow, yeah, and I don't, I don't think it was a point in time. It was more, maybe a person, maybe it was Byron Katie, and getting older. So I'm 56 now, and I used to see success as big and flashy, and to be honest, there's still a part of me that does. So it's got to be big. You know, I wanted to be a snowboard instructor and then a stand up comedian, and I'd paraglide over the Himalayas at 10,000 feet solo. And I go back to Australia and see my friends from school and say, So what's new with you? Like, yeah, nothing, same old, same all. And I I couldn't understand it. And I'm like, why would you live like that? But then I spoke to one man who he said the best part of his life is at the end of the day, after a hard day's work, cracking open a beer sitting in his backyard that he owns, looking up at the mountain and sipping a beer and watching his kids play around his feet. And that really struck me. And Byron Katie talks about ordinary angels, just, you know, and and I told her, I want to be special. And she said, just be careful. Watch the specialness. The specialness can be deadly. You. Yeah, and I think she was was right. So it doesn't mean that I still don't want to do wonderful things, but I wonder if it's different now. I wonder if it's less about how it how it looks, and more about what excites me. So since we've talked was 2021, so four years ago, I packed my bags and sold most of what I owned and whatever I could fit in the car and on top of the car I took with me from Colorado to Los Angeles with my dog, squeezed in the top of the car, and we we moved there, and my deal with myself was, you've got, you have to spend one year in LA as an actor. And I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't even know if I could act, but I went there. I got training. I started looking for a manager, looking for an agent, all the things that an actor does. I was doing, I think my record was 17 audition videos a day. That was my record. A quiet day might be like five auditions and it was all being uploaded. So did you make a lot? I did, oh, I did, yeah, when you start acting, you're usually not going to be in a movie. So you start with student projects, you start working for free, and then you work up, and they'll know, they'll pay you, you know, maybe you get $80 for something, and then you might get 200 for a day. And I said, Whoa, you know, or 200 for really low budget commercial. But then I got a couple of feature films. I got flown three times to Atlanta or Las Vegas, and you know, sometimes they paid for my hotel, and I was like, wow, now I've made it. They're willing to pay to fly me in rather than get someone local. And that was a lot of fun. And after a year, I was like, Okay, I got my manager, I got my agent, I did some good gigs, I got some amazing training. I found out I can act, and now I'm done. And then I moved to Asheville, North Carolina, and decided I want to be a pickleball Pro and coach pickleball so it seems to create, and now I'm developing apps. I'm now I'm a software developer creating, i ai apps that I hope will change the world and bring us closer together, more intimacy, more vulnerability, more connection in our communication, it'll sit on your shoulder and track with consent, track your conversations and whisper in your ear and say, Hey, try curiosity now, try questioning, try validating their emotions before you go into what you want. It'll actually train us to be awesome communicators. So there have been lots of evolution since, since we spoke, although I'm still an actor, I'm still a pickleball coach, I'm still a software developer, and I still have 28 coaching clients, coaching business owners, mainly, and also executives. So it's, it's not a boring,

Agi Keramidas: 8:52

yeah, boring. Didn't even cross my mind when you were describing all this. Yeah, I'm excited. So it is. I'm glad I referred to you as an adventurer in the My introduction. So now it completely, you know, makes sense there, David, there is something. Actually, there are two or three things in particular that I wanted to speak to you about, and that is related to productivity, which is something that you are really, you know, passionate about. There is something that I will start. There is something I read that you said that the real breakthrough comes when we stop pretending.

Unknown: 9:35

So

Agi Keramidas: 9:36

can you tell us? What are some common things that you know, high achievers pretend about without really knowing that they do,

David Wood: 9:46

right? Yes, unconscious pretends. We pretend that we want things. We pretend that some things matter. So we can pretend that our health matters, but you've just got to look at what you eat. Eat to you know, to find out if that's true. You'll know if your nutrition actually matters to you by what you eat. You'll know if your exercise actually matters to you by what you what you do. And you might say, I coach a lot of business owners, and you might say, well, I want to double revenue. But do you really? Because if you do your actions might, might, might align with what you're doing today, but they might not. And then it gets interesting about time frame, maybe you say, No, this really matters to me. I really want to grow the business, I want to impact the world, I want to serve the world, or I want to get a promotion. I want to build my network. But what are you doing that'll tell you if you're truly committed, or if it's a pretence and there's not, I'm not criticising. If there's a pretence, I'm sure I pretend all the all the time. It's, you know, it's a constant. Some things, commitment just shows up. It's so clear, there's no question, right? I'm working eight hours a day on developing this software to help us in our communication, so it's clear that I'm committed exercise. Okay, okay. I play pickleball five times a week, but I'm clearly not committed to lifting weights. Now let's, let's take doubling revenue if you really were committed, and listeners, I'd say, look at your actions and ask yourself. You might be like, Well, I'm like, halfway there maybe, or maybe you are fully there. But commitment might look like joining a mastermind or getting a coach. It might look like really having a solid plan and waking up knowing what matters. It probably looks like turning your phone onto Do Not Disturb, and I'll make sure. Yeah, mine is so you can't even see it light up or buzz when there's a message, and your email notifications can't ding you and you're focused for, say, 25 minutes, if you like, the Pomodoro Technique. And you know what matters most. And you know my first Pomodoro is this, my second is this, my third is this, my fourth is this. I was pretending. I'll tell on myself. Now, I was pretending Agi for years that I wanted to buy a house in the US, and the truth is I was conflicted, which is the common human experience. We've got conflicting values, and that's how we are. I think being human is like driving a bus full of cats, and each cat has a different desire or direction. So, so yeah, I wanted to own my own home in the United States. I have a property in Australia, but I wanted to own a home here, but also wanted to spend money, and I like where I'm renting. So it was quite conflicted. So it was more pretending that I want a home, and a lot of complaining that the bank won't let me borrow against my Australian home to buy one here, because it's two different countries, right? When I finally got committed and stopped pretending and realised, first I realised I don't really want a home that much. And so I got peaceful, and that was great. And then after a while, started to bubble up, and I and I started to think, Well, I wanted a cat for so long, and they don't let me have a cat here, and I can't go to Colombia for six months and rent out this place. It's against my lease, and I'd love I'm jealous of people who can Airbnb their place while they go. And I thought six months a year sounds great in a warm climate. And I want a pickleball court in my backyard. I really do. I also would like to be away from barking dogs and so that I could rent somewhere in the country like that, but I'm using that as motivation that I can get somewhere with space for my neighbours. So I am a new man Agi. Now that I'm not pretending I was peaceful for a while, going, okay, apparently I don't really want that, but now that I really do, it's just changing a lot. Someone said, Can you come to Vegas for my birthday. I love this friend. I really do want to show up, but what it's going to cost to do that can go towards a deposit for the house, and so it's a whole different ball game. Now, I used to not work Wednesdays for 15 years. Days, and when I say not work, I had no calls, no coaching calls, no meetings. So I could just do deep work on whatever I wanted to. I opened up Wednesdays. Maybe I'll open up Saturday mornings, because I there's demand for my coaching. If I want more clients, I can just add more time to the calendar. But everything changes when you're actually committed and you stop pretending. I'm not telling anyone, you should stop pretending. No, it's fun to pretend that you want to be healthy and and you want to watch less TV and you want to drink less alcohol or stop smoking weed. Nothing wrong with that. But if you can be honest about it, you can maybe be more at peace, and you may find that there's a part of you that's not okay with that you're just not okay with letting go the goal, and you might actually start getting aligned. And that gets very interesting. When you're actually aligned on your goals, you can get behind it 100% and I'm all about speed. I like achieving things at speed. It's fun for me, and I think that's why it's partly why people come to me, because I'm like, Well, how do you leverage this? How do you actually work less, but do more of what matters. Wouldn't that be fun? Have more time off and achieve more? It's not crazy to do that. We've just got to get aligned and then stop with all the there's a bunch of ways we shoot ourselves, in the in the in the feet when we're pretending, and if we start to focus and really get into productivity. It gets very interesting

Agi Keramidas: 16:47

when you said about committing, stop reading and commit. I want to ask, what does that commitment look like? I'm sure it is more than just a decision, but what does that commitment look like? And you said also that there comes in point that you are aligned with your goals. And I think I haven't heard it described as such, but I know the feeling. I think the listener also has experienced what that feels like, even for brief amounts of time. So when or tell me a bit about the alignment or that moment that you you feel it as well, but also the commitment, I want to hear more about that commitment, because it really makes a big difference.

David Wood: 17:37

I don't you know, the idea that the commitment is going to come from a moment, that it'll come from, like something external that happens to you, I want to just, I'm not interested in that, because that that that takes control away from us, and it takes responsibility away from us, I think commitment is a choice. Commitment is not right or wrong. Commitment is a place to stand where you say, I'm responsible for my results and I'm going to show up. If you want to know what you're committed to look at what you have in your life, that's what you're committed to. If you're smoking cigarettes, you're committed to something around that, if you've got kids and a family, there's a commitment. Even if you think you should be showing up better, you might be judging yourself. There's something because you so look at what you have. Look at your bank account. That's the level of wealth you're committed to, because you have it. Vic Baron CO is no longer with us, but he was a teacher who said true intention is demonstrated by attainment, which is another way of saying you're committed to what you have. That's how you know so what does it look like? You know it. You know it when you see it. If I, you know, I'm thinking about this pickleball coaching clearly, I'm committed to being a pickleball coach, because last month, I had 20 pickleball clients in my boot camp. And you know, I'm feeling the energy slow down for that as I go into coding and app development. So, you know, the commitments slowing down, but I'm still coaching, and people are getting great results, so clearly I'm committed to that. But am I committed to being a senior Pro, a professional touring the country? I'd have to say no, because I think my mind goes to well, what would that look like? It would look like having a coaching session for myself every week. It would look like probably lifting weights every morning, because my last coach told me i. That's what I need to do, and I'm not doing that. So that's interesting. It's like, okay, apparently there's a bit of pretence there. Now I'm okay with that, and my priorities are shifting. But you know, by looking at what you're doing, just ask yourself, if I was like Tony Robbins, going for my goals, what would that look like? What would I do? Would I you know what full you know what full out looks like? You might be like, Look, this is more of a hobby. Even if it's your job, it might be like, Well, it's kind of something I'm interested in. I've got a client. This is quite an Agi topic. I've got a client whose son has had five reportable accidents in his car in the past two years, five reportable at least twice the car was completely written off each time he maintains that it was not his fault. Well, you got to be suspicious five times. Okay. I used to be an actuary into statistics. Come on, it's not looking good. It's not looking good. So we started looking at, well, what's what's your commitment, what's your stand? And of course, he's concerned, of course he's worried. But he was really honest recently, really honest in real looking at what a true stand would look like maybe pulling his his son's licence, maybe doing a bunch of research to see how other parents have turned their kids around. Maybe there's some scare tactics. But we looked at, you know, getting a camera for the car, $3,000 for a camera that will monitor how often your eyes stray from the road, yeah, and monitor how quickly you break and how quickly you accelerate and your speed, right? And he noticed that he hadn't bought them, hadn't bought the camera. He'd done some actions, but he hadn't gone full out. And he said, I wonder how scared I really am. I want to so this was actually, to be fair, this wasn't actually about commitment. It was like, I wonder how much I really think he's going to have another accident. How worried am I? Because if I was really worried, my commitment level to this might be, might be different, and might show up so and there was nothing wrong in our conversation, nothing like, well, you should be this, or you should be that. He's like, wonder if I'm not as committed as I thought. I wonder if I, I, you know, not as worried as I thought. And so he's in that investigation I thought that might be useful to just look at. I I love asking, like, what is full out look like? What if you're really going for this? In fact, I I'm going to write that down on a post it note. I'm going to ask my question. Ask that of my clients, if you are playing full out, what would that look like? Not saying you should, what would it look like? I've got another client who's, who's, I won't mention the business, because then someone could narrow it down. But every now and then, business will go poorly. There won't be revenue, people won't be buying, and it's a little bit cyclical, and then my client gets worried about it. And I said, Well, what if you had a marketing plan that carried you through the year? And what if you had goals for every single week and you pushed it and you made 20 calls every week and you did this? And what if you hired a salesperson, which you've never done, and trained them and gave it a shot like, you know, I could just see like, what it could look like if you're really committed to financial peace and having consistent cash flow. And so we're having that conversation now to see, is that a place that they want to step into, or is it like, you know, I'd rather just do what I'm doing, and I'll take the ups and downs that's valid. My job is to hold up a mirror and say, which is it?

Agi Keramidas: 24:33

Thank you. I wrote that down. That question. David, thank you. It's if you were playing full out, what would it look like it is extremely powerful. I want to thank you very much for this conversation. David, it was enlightening in many ways. What you're saying about commitment, very useful. I would like you know, along with any. Final comments you might have. I would like to ask one, you know, final question also, I think you know about a listener that has the external success in their life, but they lack the alignment, the fulfilment. How does that stop pretending that we were talking about helps them reconnect with that. You know, Ines, let's say guidance or

David Wood: 25:28

purpose. Well, I would say a great question to ask yourself is, are you happy? Let's start with that. Are you happy? A client yesterday loves his job, loves his life, a lot of it, but he gave himself five out of 10 for meaning, meaningful work. And so we're exploring what's that look like. Ask yourself, are you happy? And be honest, right? Let's not pretend we we might be pretending that that life's fine, and if you are awesome, I love that. If you feel like something's missing, then I think maybe some inquiry could be good. Some investigation. I've got a client right now. We're doing we're doing values work. The one I just mentioned, we're exploring, what are his values, what's important to him, what are his passions? And then we're going to look at, How can his life reflect more of that? I think that's one way to have more meaning and fulfilment in life, that you're expressing your values. I get to talk to people every day about how their life can be better, whether it's better financial success or having their kid talk to them after five years of silence or whatever it is, what does loving your life look like? It's a joy for me to work on that. So I get to express my values, my values of play, when I act, when I play pickleball, it doesn't mean I'm perfectly happy, right? So I could stop my own pretence about I think I actually owned recently that I've been feeling a lot of loneliness that I really would like a partner, and I think I was non confronting that and pretending for some time that it was totally fine, and so I can get honest with myself there. So back to your question. Ask yourself, Am I happy? And maybe find someone to do some values work and just check it might be a tweak. It might not be a big shift. Like I'm not saying everybody's got to go off to Hollywood for acting, or go and paraglide the Himalayas, or become a snowboard instructor or a pickle it might be you go and take an improv course. It might be that you get into AI and create a project. It might be that you set up date nights with your wife or your husband. It's a big sandbox out there, and I want, I want, I want everyone to be having a really good time playing in that sandbox.

Agi Keramidas: 28:22

David, thank you very much.

David Wood: 28:25

You're very welcome. And I'd love to extend an offer to listeners, if that would be okay, of course. Okay, great. If something sparked in you listening to this and you thought, you know, I could ramp I could ramp up what I'm doing. I'm already successful. I'm already doing well, and I think there's more on the table. I'd like to make three offerings. One go and fill in my free assessment. It's a business and life assessment. The investment is $0.10 minutes of your time, and it will provoke you and have you work out what matters to you right now. Where are you heading? What's getting in the way? And that might be all you want. And you can leave it at that and get an email with your answers. The second thing is, if you're interested in coaching with me, that's a really good step. And the link, by the way, is focus, dot CEO slash quiz. It's really easy to remember it's not.com focus, dot CEO slash quiz. And if you're interested in coaching with me, fill that in. And the next step is a 15 minute call with me. I don't charge for that, but I'll review your answers and see if coaching could even make a difference for you. And if we're a fit, and I do that for free, because it's how I find the right people to work with. And the third offering, if we do decide to work together, I've realised. Not everyone can afford $2,000 a month for a coach. If you're not earning over a quarter million a year, okay, if you are, it's a no brainer to pay that for a coach. But if you're not, I've realised I don't think you should be paying that. So I'm happy to offer a sliding scale. If you mention in the notes, Agi and sliding scale, I'll know when we get on the call that if we do decide to work together, it's not going to be 2000 we'll pick something. I've gone as low as 300 with people. We'll pick a number that feels good and right for where you are right now in your business or your life. So focus dot CEO slash quiz. That's my offering. If there's something that's sparked and you want to take this photo,

Agi Keramidas: 30:46

thank you for listening to this conversation with David Wood. I hope it has given you a fresh perspective on what it means to stop pretending and fully commit to the life you truly want. If this conversation inspired you, helped you or gave you something meaningful, consider supporting the show. It's like, buying me a coffee in return for the value you received. Visit personal development mastery podcast.com/support until next time. Stand Out. Don't fit in.